"Ryan! You pushed me over like an asshole!"

My little brother had his two goofy friends over yesterday. They were riding Zoe's tricycle and mini bikie up and down the street. She comes in and says,



"Mommy, Gage and his boyfriend are trying to steal my bike!"

Zoe was looking through her easter candy and took out a box of Nerds.

"Mommy, what are these called?"
"Nerds."
"Like, you're calling someone a nerd, or like "You're getting on my nerds?"

Zoe decided to go outside and help Mikie with his car.

Today, my mom went through Zoe's rock collection and found a piece of dried dog poop.

Zoe locked herself in the bathroom before school today after my mom put bright green shorts on her.

"I DON'T WANNA LOOK LIKE THIIIIISS!"

Zoe got school pictures taken.

Photographer:
"So are you going to bring your boyfriend when you take pictures next time?"

Zoe:
"Um, noo. If I bring him my friends might tear his clothes off or something like that."